Baby Pictures

Hey guys it's Will. Sarah's been after me to post something on here for a while so I figured I'd put up the ultrasound images from our last few visits to the doctor. Hope you all enjoy these as much as we do!

3-28-11 9 1/2 weeks

We were able to see the baby move for the first time on this visit. Ziggy (Justin nicknamed the baby Ziggy the Zygote and it stuck for me. I don't think Sarah likes it much, but since this is my blog I'll use it.) was kicking and waving his/her arms around and wiping his/her face. Mrs. Angie, our nurse practitioner, told us that it is a very good sign to see a baby moving at 9 1/2 weeks. There wouldn't be anything necessarily wrong if Ziggy hadn't been moving, but movement means healthy neurological development.

Baby's right profile. The head is on the left, if you look really closely there is a faint line in the bend of the "kidney bean" shape. That's an arm.



Baby's heart rate. I know that it's small but if you look at the baby you can see the arm much better in this one.


4-11-11 11 1/2 weeks.

Picture one is the Ziggy's heart rate. The round thing on the left of the picture is the top of Ziggy's head.


This is Ziggy's left profile. Ziggy looks a bit like an alien or even the Joker from Batman, but you can see an eye, nose and mouth.


This last one is the money shot. It's Ziggy's right profile, you can see the nose, an eye, an ear, the mouth, and is proof that Ziggy has five fingers on at least one hand.


There will be more pictures to come. Countdown to baby gender: 3 weeks and counting!

Love you all!

-Will

1+2=3

will, then me, and a baby makes three! it is official :) we are pregnant!

ho hum bum

i have been so lazy lately. i mean, at home that is. after working all day, i come home and take care of tucker, and then two days a week have been babysitting. the house this past week hit an all time low, however. the winter is breaking me down, and after v-day there's nothing really exciting to keep me going until easter arrives. it makes me just sleepy thinking about it.

we were blessed to have family here last weekend though. will hit the big 25, and his dad, mom, and older brother came for a visit. we had such a nice time catching up, eating lots of good food, and worshiping together! will and i also got to experience the bats museum for the first time after almost 2 years of living here together. we are hoping to have more opportunities to see some local attractions over the summer.

tucker seems to be recovered from his infected anal gland, and nobody could be happier than me! he was so pitiful and it was exhausting trying to manuever him with that ridiculous cone on his head. he wears me out, but is so precious to come home too. he is always happy to see me, and ready to get in my lap and snuggle :)

will and i are taking things a day at a time with his new schedule. we make a point to get up in the mornings and have breakfast together, so that we at least see a little of one another. if not, we don't get to catch up from sunday afternoon until friday.

i am excited to share that i will be starting my own business with premier jewelry as of the beginning of april. the extra income is going to be incredibly helpful, and this position will allow me to work wherever we end up in ministry! i am very hopeful, but am nervous, as change is always a bit scary to me. will has been such an encouragement as we have prayed through this, and we are both really looking forward to seeing what God does through this business. please pray for us as we add this into our already busy schedule, and that God would continually bring us back together to focus and re-focus on His ultimate plan for our lives.

pics to come so keep out an eye!

a new semester

and so another one begins. last week was will's first official week of the new semester, and we are both trying to adjust. he is taking more classes this term, and has cut back on work hours at starbucks. he is in class tues-fri, and works everyday except friday and saturday. his only real day off is saturday, and fortunately i'm home too. it is a stricter schedule than we are used too, but we are determined to stay organized and focused and ride out this year successfully.

i am still at necole's place, and love what i do. it is definitely emotionally draining on me at times, but until God tells me differently, i will remain there doing work for Him. i am also starting to keep two little girls, separately, a couple times a month. it will be good for me to get out on the nights will is working, and the extra money will help too. have i mentioned i NEVER thought i'd be doing childcare? yet another reminder from the Lord that i am so not in control of anything in this life.

on my evenings at home, tucker keeps me pretty busy catching black hair. now i have two boys to pick up after. and really, i wouldn't have it any other way :) tucker has brought me so much joy in the past couple months and has really been therapy for me while grieving. and of course i can't say enough good things about will. he keeps me laughing and encourages me in every way humanly possible.

we are both dedicating ourselves this year to being more spiritually and physically fit. i mostly do the fitness part, but he will get drug into it once it warms up again. right now we are reading through joshua together, as well as doing a book study with our sunday school class. it is creating great time for us to be still together and study God's word.

we are so looking forward to spring and all that is coming with it, as well as summer. we have two precious friends getting married, and one of our dearest friends having their first little one! God is so good, and continues to bless us through these relationships.

continue to pray for us, as we seek God's plan for our lives and ministry. we have been preparing our hearts and minds for change since last year in march, and we continue to feel that change approaching. pray that we would remain open to wherever God would lead us. pray that we would seek to glorify God in all we do, and let nothing be about ourselves. pray that God protects us individually, and in our marriage.

we love to hear from you, so write us or call us anytime! OR just come visit :) love to all

what's in a year?

alot actually. they come and go, often without much notice. well, unless you're a woman, and then perhaps you wake regularly to find a new wrinkle or sun spot where there wasn't one before. in my short 23 years, i can't really say one year stands out more than another. of course there are milestones: 2004 - when I first went into treatment, 2005 - high school graduation, 2009 - college graduation, and 2009 - will and i married. those are just some of the more recent ones.

then there was this year: 2010. it began at a fast pace, with me working two jobs, and will immediately taking a jan-term course, followed by the spring semester. by may we were both feeling drawn closer to home. God opened some doors for that, and then closed them, or maybe just postponed them. work for us both has been difficult at times, for various reasons. we prayed for direction, for answers as to where and what the Lord would have us do. we did so separately and together, putting our own hearts desires on the back burner. we felt passionately that He was guiding us one way, still do, but know His timing is the best timing - and that just isn't right now.

so we pressed on, and began to pray about family. we ultimately decided to leave it in God's hands. on november 7th we found out we were pregnant. we were filled with a new kind of hope for our future, for our family to be, for this precious child we desired to know the Lord in the way we did. almost as quickly as this blessing was given to us, it was taken away. on november 25th i miscarried at a couple days shy of 8 weeks. worst day of my life, hands down. again, we felt confused and our hearts ached, but we know His timing is the best timing - and that just isn't right now.

i don't say any of this lightly. i can't begin to express the emotional ups and downs of this year by simply writing about it. you'd have to be inside my head and my heart to know the depths of anguish and brokenness i have felt. but i am reminded that "to whom much is given, much is required."

God has protected me and blessed me through my 9 year battle with anorexia and bulimia. He has guarded and guided my footsteps, provided perfect positions for me to work in, given me resources in times of need, and been my unwavering source of strength, when i was anything but deserving. through any and all heartache - i have been given so very much. above all the ultimate gift of redemption through His son Christ Jesus. so yeah, he's got some requirements for me too.

He continues to refine me through my greatest weakness: patience. it is His timing, not my own. so when i think about 2010, there is a big part of me that reflects in sadness, but the rest of me rejoices in knowing that this is just preparation for all the years to come.

Meet Tucker

So here is our newest addition, and boy is he trouble :)

Come let me hold you, child.

"Two months is too little. They let him go, they had no sudden healing. To think that Providence would take a child from his mother while she prays is appalling. Who told us we'd be rescued? What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares? We're asking why this happens, to us who have died to live. It's unfair. This is what it means to be held. How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive. This is what it is to be loved, and to know that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held."

These words from Natalie Grant's song, "Held," have been resounding in my head for the past several days. It fits in many ways to what Will and I are walking through at this very moment. Days shy of two months, we lost our precious baby. Maybe only a dream to some at such an early stage, but she was ours (I say she because I dreamt of her three nights). She was our surprise and miracle all wrapped into one. I never once panicked or had fear about her. I thought about bills and space, and lack of family and friends to support us here in Louisville, but when it came to being a parent to this child, I knew it would be okay. I believed, and still do, that God would take care of us, that he would see to it that all our needs were met if we trusted and followed after him.

Though miscarriage is always a possibility, I did not allow myself to go there. If I had, it would have consumed me, and the days I experienced so much joy over this life would not have been. Needless to say, it came as a horrible shock, and one we won't ever forget.

All of this I say because it is easy to trust and follow after the Lord, when He blesses you, or when life is good. When everything falls apart and questions arise from within, not so easy.

God has brought me out of many dark places in my life, and this one should be no different. It has been through this very situation that I have recognized my own lack of faith. I was so encouraged and unshaken by my pregnancy, and so broken and defeated at its disappearance. While many of the emotions Will and I have been feeling are normal, my unbelief of God taking care of everything has been a sobering reality.

I may never know why this happened. I do know that God IS totally and completely in control, and that I am no one to question who he is and what he is doing. While the hurt and sadness remain, I'll reside with my Father. Trusting and following after him, when it isn't easy. And he will hold me.